satan's nectar

Energy drinks are quite possibly one of the WORST things to be invented ever.  I will never forget the day I drank my first (and last) Red Bull.  I started to feel all jittery and just wanted to do a bunch of shit and talk to everyone and not shut up ever!  That lasted for about 20 minutes.  After that, I crashed and felt miserable and wanted to shoot myself in the face.  Uhm...F*ck that.  That has to be the worst feeling in the world.  I really want to compare that feeling to the way a crackhead feels when they are all...cracky ‘n shit....but, I’ve never done crack sooo I wouldn’t know.  

Listen.  This is what I’m getting at.  No, I do not think energy drinks should have an age limit.  I think those sons of whores should be outlawed.  However, there are those people that are energy drink fanatics.  They can’t function without them.  Those idiots would probably force us into some repeat of the prohibition era.  Except instead of alcohol, it’s energy drinks.  Can you imagine?!  People would be sneaking into their favorite speakeasy to get their energy drink fix, buying bootleg Red Bull and Monster and shit.  F*cking crazies.  

Ok.  Let’s not go so far as to outlaw that shit.  I do not think children should be drinking that crackhead ass shit.  If an adult wants to be all jittery and feel like they want to shoot themselves in the face, then they can do that shit on their own.  


~Kelly