get off the phone

Cell phone etiquette.  Shit.  Where to begin....?
I will start with a confession.  I am borderline obsessed with my phone.  I am constantly texting, kickin’ some ass on Words With Friends (or getting my ass kicked. shut up.), Facebooking...whatever.  I’m not ashamed.  The reason I use the word ‘borderline’ is because, unlike other cell phone addicts, I am aware that there IS a time and a place.  I absolutely re-f*cking-fuse to have a personal conversation on my cell phone while I am in a restaurant, store, nail salon...wherever.  I don’t want everybody else knowing my business.  If I did, I would take out an ad in the damn paper.  I don’t give a shit what you are doing this weekend.  I don’t want to hear, in detail, about the awful date you went on last night.  If you need to make a quick call to find out if so and so needs something from the store, fine.  If you want to call the babysitter to see how the kids are, cool.  Try to keep that phone call short and sweet.  And keep your voice the f*ck down.  Shit.  There’s nothing more annoying than hearing a loud ass person on the phone.  Ok, there are things more annoying than that but, that is up there on the list.  Also.  If you’re going through a check-out line, ordering food, or doing something that requires talking to someone face to face, please detach that phone from your ear.  Remember, there’s probably other people waiting in line behind you.  You going between the cashier and the conversation you are having about how much of a bitch your sister can be is just making everyone else wait and in turn, pissing them the hell off.  Remember, cashiers are people, too.  Get off your phone, let them do their job, and get your ass out of the line. 
Let’s discuss that bluetooth shit real quick.  You look like a douche.  It appears that you are talking to yourself.  I don’t get it.  On the other hand, I have noticed that only middle aged white men appear to be using bluetooth technology these days, sooo...I think that means that shit is no longer ‘cool’.  Whew.  
You know how you can catch on fire if you pump gas while you are on your cell phone?  I wish that happened every time someone used their cell phone at inappropriate times for stupid shit. 



  1. Love it Kelly! Great blogging!?

  2. hahahaha, love the "kickin’ some ass on Words With Friends (or getting my ass kicked. shut up)"... i feel that is a personal shout out to me.

    personally i use my cell phone when going through check out lines but probably because i am smarter than at least 90% of the general population and can actually do two things at once. i figure it works like this: i take care of the shit on my end, you take care of the shit on your end cashier person, we both end this transaction and i stay on my phone, thankyouverymuch. shit, half the time, the dopey ass 16 year old behind the register isn't even paying attention to hit the "debit" button. maybe they're too busy crashing out after drinking a red bull ;)

  3. LOVE IT!!!!!! HI- LARIOUS =)