fatty mcfatfat

We’ve all seen those episodes of Maury with the fat babies.  Babies that fat are NOT cute.  Yes, babies are supposed to be fat...but not Marshmallow Man fat. How do they get that fat anyway?  How many happy meals does it take to make a child that damn ginormous that they have sleep apnea and diabetes at the age of 3?!  You’re the parent.  You control what they eat.  I’m pretty sure it’s as simple as substituting the chicken nugs and fries with some vegetables. Maybe try some portion control, too.  Nothing is more disgusting than watching a fat toddler put away 4 cheeseburgers in one sitting. Hmm..what else can you do to make your kid not a fat ass?  Oh...go play outside!  If you’re gonna let your little (or big, whatever) turd eat all the junk food in the world, the least you can do is kick their fat asses outside and make them run that shit off.  And let’s stop calling them fat.  Chunk, nugget, fat-fat....Yeah!  Let’s let (yes, I said let.  You’re the parent, remember?) our kids blow up to astronomical proportions and THEN we will call them fat.  Then, after that, we will take them on the Maury Povich show and exploit the shit out of them.  Way to go, parent of the year.  
Can we just have a DCF representative on stand by in the audience at the Maury Povich show?  



  1. Hey why ya gotta throw nugget in there?! I have called jack nugget since he was a little fetus! Lol he's not a fatty!

  2. i think chelsea handler can answer your question. she coined 'nugget' to her fat little midge (& other midgets) as well as 'fat babies'.