I’ve been wanting to do a post on Crocs for a long time.  I’m not really sure where to begin so I’ll start with this lovely picture.
You had to wear socks with them?  What are you, an 80 year old man?

Katie wears these hideous shoes so I'm sure I will probably get shit for this post.  Too bad I don't give a shit.  Crocs are the most disgusting, unflattering, awful looking shoes I have seen.  Ever.  In life.  Anytime I see a whole family of Croc wearing freakos, I want to push them all down and make them skin their knees.  Even the kids.  OK OK...Maybe I am going too far here.  My mom wears crocs, so does my oldest brother, and his kids.  I wouldn’t push them down and make them skin their knees but, I sure as shit will make fun of them for it.  Well, not the kids...I’m not a fucking monster, ok?  However, my mom and brother...fair game. 
F’real doh...what’s the big deal?  They are expensive ass CLOGS.  Oh, my bad...they make Croc HEELS now, and flats, and other shoes that might be considered “cute”.  Hate to break it to you Crocs but, that shit is still hideous.  As soon as I see the little Croc logo, I’m done.  They even make little charms to stick in the holes of the clog-type Crocs.  Just so everyone knows, this just draws more attention to your stupid looking shoes. 
These are some real cute heels, ladies!  You can wear them when you go on that Eharmony date!
Why does one wear crocs?  Is it because they are (allegedly) comfortable?  You’re a nurse (or something like that) and you’re on your feet all the time, huh?  Well, fuck that.  Listen, all I’m sayin’ is...I’m on my feet all day and I would rather be seen out in public wearing a pair of old man house shoes (with some mother fuckin' socks!) than Crocs.  What are you going to wear when Crocs are made obsolete?  Because that's what I'm hoping will happen...they will become extinct like the fucking dinosaurs.    

Why are they showcasing these by the fireplace?  Are they trying to make the furry Crocs looks sexy?  Not working.

Like my cousin Laura says...Crocs are for fanny pack wearing tourists.  Let’s keep it that way.  Or maybe just eliminate them all together.  The Crocs, not the fanny pack wearing tourists. 


1 comment:

  1. Just so you know I literally did "lol" from start to finish when I read this... And for real LOL'd...I now know not to abuse nor overuse "lol" from a previous post ;)

    Seriously funny shit! (They really are comfy tho)